You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize