Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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