Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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