1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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