I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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