I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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