your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There r osticjed everywhere
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
