I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
