so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
