Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
