I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
