why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
