last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
