i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize