The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize