I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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