I have no recollection of sleep choking you
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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