She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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