Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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