Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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