That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
