you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
God, I missed his penis.
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