Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
