He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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