i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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