so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize