so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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