therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
