we're chasing vodka with high fives
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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