If that was your dad, he is hot
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
