My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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