im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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