somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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