Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
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come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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