Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
