everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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