Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
All the doctor said was why
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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