You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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