dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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