When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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