Rock
Scissors
Fuck
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
