Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
so much tequila, so little girl.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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