you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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