I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
