If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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