Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
