So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
