I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
