i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
