He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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