She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
