no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
