dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize