we're blogging at a bar
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
