ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
