drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize